Wanting Both Self-Realization and a Life Companion


I want to reach the goal of self-realization in this life and avoid all things that distract from the goal. Trouble is I miss the company of a romantic companion and waste a lot of time pursuing this goal. Getting married will curb this desire and will free up my mind for meditations, but will bring 100 other responsibilities (I don’t desire a family, just romantic company). So how do I kill this desire, I don’t want to suppress it nor waste this life assuming the responsibility of a family.

—disciple, australia


Dear Disciple,

I agree with your primary life’s desire—that is to reach the goal of self-realization in this lifetime and to avoid all things which distract from reaching that goal. These are my life’s goals also.

However, there is the matter of karma which needs to be taken care of. This may involve marriage for you, or it may not.

For this (and every other desire you may ever have, no matter how strong) you should daily, as a part of every meditation, consciously give it into God’s hands.

In the matter of wanting romantic company, let Divine Mother be your match-maker! She can do a much better job than you or anyone else.

Try praying a simple prayer like this: “Divine Mother, Master, you know the desire of my heart. Help me to fulfill it in the right way to keep me in perfect attunement with the goal of self-realization in this lifetime, or else remove this desire from me! In any case, I give it to you! I offer my life to you completely.” Do this over and over and over.

Suppressing desires never work. But transmuting them though lifting them up in mediation and giving them to God—that works very well. Try it!