What is happening with me?
Actually my consciousness has changed. Suddenly I’m developing hatred toward this planet Earth. I feel like this world is not my true home. I feel like my true home is somewhere else, far away from here. Sometimes I even start crying because I’m unable to go home. How can I go home? Please help me and provide guidance.
Dear Friend, Buddha:
Many sincere souls feel that this planet earth is not our home. We see ugliness, violence, sickness, injustice and so much sadness and we cannot help but feel this is not our home. As souls we have a deep remembrance of perfection and having lived many times (between human incarnations) in the beauty of the astral realms, we may sometimes find this world holds no attraction for us.
But this state of rejection is only a stage of awakening. The stage which might be called Sankhya is the intuitive perception that this world and its attractions is false and can never satisfy us. Even modern science tells us is that the world of our five senses is an extremely limited and short-lived view of material realities!
This stage of rejection can, in time, inspire in us the search for meaning, beauty, truth and perfection, in various ways and forms. Why? Because, as I wrote above, our souls are perfect and cannot help but seek perfection. The existential problem we have is that perfection cannot exist in any permanent state in a world that is false and fleeting and whose very fabric requires the play of opposites eternally vying for supremacy.
When the soul, then, inspired by truth teachings, a true teacher or guru, is re-awakened and begins to seek “the kingdom of heaven within” (Jesus Christ), then and especially through deep meditation, we discover a world of inner beauty and perfection, and true joy. With the grace of God and guru, linked to our own sincere efforts, meditation soon yields the “Holy Grail” of joy unconditioned and unsullied by outer circumstances.
Meditation is the way of awakening. Do you meditate? Perhaps you have already read Yogananda’s now famous, Autobiography of a Yogi? If so, you’ve read about Kriya Yoga. I urge you to contact AnandaIndia.org to learn more about Kriya Yoga.
You are not lost but you have not yet found your home. When you do, and when you see with the eyes of the soul, which is to say with God’s eyes, you will rediscover beauty all around you and on every level: material, astral, causal, and someday in Infinite Bliss of cosmic consciousness.
Carry on your path; never give up; joy, love, wisdom, perfection do exist but step by step we will be asked “How much are you willing to do” to obtain the Pearl of Great Price? “Banat, banat, ban jai: doing, doing, soon done!