Working Relationships


My brother is new at his job in a small office. His boss is temperamental and prone to short, angry outbursts and sharp criticism of Tom. He is miserable and is ready to quit. What advice could you offer to help him maintain his peace of mind and his work. (He is learning some valuable skills there.) He has a pattern of starting and then quitting when personalities around him get under his skin.

—Roberta Nowlin, USA


Dear Roberta,

There is so much in this question to answer. Life on this planet is difficult at best, especially when you are not listening to all that is happening around you, and also if you are expecting things to be different than what they are.

Not only do we all need to understand how things really are, but we need to accept them and feel good about that.

When confronted with negative emotions, it is best not to react, not to take it personally, and to actually mentally bless the attacker.

When someone is in such a negative state, he needs help. It is best to try to defuse this emotional response and at another time, it would be good to mentally review the problem to see how you caused this emotional response. Sometimes this comes from your own emotional responses and from not listening to what is trying to happen. Sometimes our minds hear what we want to hear and not what is really happening.

As you can see, the questions I pose are directed to your brother. We all need to work on what our reactions are. We cannot change anything outside ourselves until we work on our own reactions.

I would strongly suggest that your brother start meditating, finding a way to release his emotions into a good direction. Meditation helps calm the mind and brings the energy to a higher level of understanding. In an uplifted state, clarity comes. If he doesn’t meditate now, he might want to see the course that he can do at home.

Doing positive and helpful actions through this uplifted state is essential. This way you will begin to see why people act the way that they do, and you begin to be able to help them when they are emotional.

Bless you,