A Spouse’s Anger


Sometimes when I argue with my husband he will become furious and break things in the house. Often he will often he will hurt himself in these circumstances too such as punching walls, this only ever happens when he feels he is entirely to blame (regardless of what he truth might be).

How can I support him through this? How can I make him feel loved and supported and safe so that he doesn’t suffer so much with anger and pain?

Thank you.

—Laura, United Kingdom


Dear Laura,

You ask how to help your husband when he gets angry and sometimes hurts himself by punching walls or similar actions after you’ve had an argument with him. You don’t mention how long you’ve been married. Regardless, this situation calls for you and your husband seeing a professional therapist, perhaps a cognitive behavior therapist. It would help you to see such a therapist to minimize arguments in the first place. It would help him to modify his responses when angry.

In addition, I suggest you pray for him in the following way as suggested by Paramhansa Yogananda, “Lord fill my husband with Thy peace and harmony, peace and harmony, peace and harmony. Fill me with Thy peace and harmony, peace and harmony, peace and harmony.” Repeat this prayer multiple times per day and watch the effect of it begin to heal the disharmony between you over time.