Dear Sir,I am 40yrs old and childless. I am little confused whether to adopt an orphan child or adopt my own nephew. My nephew is 13 yrs old and my husband is more confused than me. If I go for an orphan I am scared whether our family will accept the child and our feelings. Please guide me as a our life has become meaningless without a child. Sir I am really in need of someone's suggestion. Awaiting your help to take the decision with lots of pranams.
—Renuka Ganesh, India
Dear Renuka,
I feel for your situation! Let me begin by asking if you have discussed with your family the idea of adopting a child? As you say, a child is a child of the entire family. So, first, see if your family supports your idea. Listen, also, to your own feelings of concern about adoption. Is there perhaps a middle ground? Is there a child in your extended family or among your neighbors to whom you could extent special care and support (short of adoption, that is)? You’ve mentioned your nephew, age 13. Extend your love and care to other children who may already be in your life or even just in the periphery, unnoticed as yet.
And, not only should you seek the support of your family, but your HUSBAND as well! If he is not completely with you on the idea of adoption you should strongly reconsider. If by will power and desire alone you were to adopt a child against the willing and joyful support of your husband and family you may find yourself with many years of sadness and struggle.
Let Divine Mother’s will be reflected in the support of those whose participation are generally necessary for raising a successful child. As the cliché says: “It takes a village to raise a child!”
At the Ananda communities (America, Europe and India) childless couples (whether by choice or by nature) “adopt” the children of the community by extending their care, support and influence to the children of the community. There are so many children in this world who need love and care. Paramhansa Yogananda stated that if the child of your neighbors dies you may feel temporarily sad for them but your life goes on. Yet, if YOUR child dies, you are grief-stricken. Why the difference? Why does biology count for so much. Are we not ALL God’s children? Look around you: “your” child may be in your very midst and you don’t recognize him.
Blessings and joy to you!
Nayaswami Hriman
Seattle WA USA
