Desire for Human Love


Does Vishu my Nani’s neighbor love/miss me? Do we have a destiny to be together?

—Anonymous, India


Dear Friend,

Our internet ASK service does not act as a psychic offering to tell one’s future. What we represent and use as a tool for understanding and action is simply this: the overarching principle of life that yoga posits to the world is that energy and consciousness is the substance of all created things and thoughts. Put another way: desire plus energy equals will power and these, together, draw to oneself the desired (or the feared) consequences one’s seeks (or fears). A second overarching principle is that God is the Doer and that it is a mistake to see oneself as the Doer: thus all desires, fears and actions should be offered to the Supreme Self for purification and for guiding the results of all actions.

What I have observed about questions of human love is that it doesn’t work to wait in the shadows hoping that the one you love will notice you and come and acknowledge his (or her) burning love for you. Whether for better or worse, for good or ill, YOU have to act and put out the energy to see the consequences.

A devotee, however, whose life is one of faith puts out energy in wholesome directions and allows the divine will to decree the consequences. So, you can remain in hiding, hoping against hope that he will notice you and come to you, or; you can act and approach him declaring your love and face the possibility of either rejection or “success,” or; you can re-direct your desire in self-offering to God in prayer, meditation, and selfless, duty-guided service and let the Divine Will express itself. Let God arrange whatever human love, if any, is for your soul’s benefit.

I urge you to be realistic about what you CAN do emotionally. If you do nothing, you risk nothing happening. If you act, you risk rejection but you also may achieve what you seek. If you offer it up, you can lose nothing and gain everything. But the choice has to be real for you. It is better to take risks and face the consequences (which might also yield the desired result) than to do nothing because energy and will are the natural elements of creation. It is impossible, Krishna reminds us in the Bhagavad Gita, to do nothing in this world: we must eat, be clothed and sheltered, and we seek to love and be loved. Better to act than not to act. But if you act in attunement with Divine Will, releasing any attachment to the results of your action, your soul will be one step closer to freedom.

In Joy and Freedom,
Nayaswami Hriman
Ananda Seattle USA