I started meditating daily 1+ months ago. In the beginning, I could easily enter a state of bliss, lose awareness but yet feel strong consciousness. It’s hard to fully describe this incredible sense of peace and being in this place which I didn’t want to leave. But the truely incredible time was when I visualized my deceased 3 year old son and I felt this indescribable euphoria and expanding light and joy. Why have all that amazing feelings, sensations stopped so completely and suddenly?
If the spiritual path were nothing more than visions and deep, beautiful experiences, everyone would be on the spiritual path. All the great saints of East and West were tested in their faith by hardship and loss of divine contact. Even Jesus Christ on the cross cried out, “Why have you abandoned me?”
We each have to prove to ourselves that we are committed to overcoming past karma and ego and body attachments in order to draw divine grace and consolation. It is not unusual to have such blessed experiences in the beginning. These are meant to assure us that God exists and that the path is right for us. It is good to keep such things in remembrance when times are difficult.
Just as in marriage a couple enjoys a “honeymoon” but afterwards they must learn to be friends, to give and take, to endure “sickness and health,” joys and sorrows, hurts and consolations, so too must our ego endure the cross of spiritual isolation or “loneliness” from time to time.
This is simply a test of your faith and courage. Divine Mother never abandons those who are Her own. Carry on and as Lahiri Mahsaya would counsel: “Banat, banat, ban jai!” (Doing, doing, soon done!) Live with joy; act with faith; give to God each day your love and devotion; enter into the silence of the Soul and commune with the Divine in whatever form, or formless that may come. Be of good cheer!
Seattle WA USA