Finding Spiritual Growth in Unrequited Love


My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 6.5 years.We had been trying to convince his parents to agree to our marriage and have been patiently waiting and praying to God to help and blesss our union.His parents are still against meeting me and our marriage as I am from a different region and caste from them.We still love each other like husband and wife, but we don’t want to hurt our parents.So he decided to end this saying that we will surely be united after we die.It’s very painful.

—Kanika , India


Dear Kanika,

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties. It is especially difficult because of the length of time that your boyfriend and you have been together. Try to approach this trial of unrequited love with acceptance, trust and courage. Although very challenging, it may be an opportunity for spiritual growth. It is hard to foresee if you will reunite. Consider this abrupt change as part of a bigger picture and trust that your highest good is unfolding.

The more you want another person to love and then marry you, the more that need will drive him away — especially since he has ended the relationship because of family decisions. This seems like it has been a very hard choice for him. But because of circumstances, and his tendency toward family approval, you may need to simply accept the choice. You may not be able to change or reverse how things have played out. Give time for God’s compassionate plan to manifest.

Consider that if you can let go of your desire and reaction to the circumstances, then the sooner you may attract a true relationship. First, seek perfection and love you want through relationship within your inner self. The more you depend on outer circumstances to give you that perfection, the more you will find disappointment. Seek that love inwardly and be guided by inner growth that will come.

At the same time, offer yourself to God and trust that what is yours will come to you. Have a grateful heart for all that does come, and you will be opening yourself to the blessings that are there for you. An affirmation that you can say throughout the day to feel at peace is: “Heavenly Father, bless me that I choose my life companion according to Thy law of perfect soul union.” This can help bring about the right circumstances for you.

Many blessings at this time.

Joy to you,
Naraswami Hassi