How do I get over the nervousness of leading a meditation. When will it feel natural? I get such performance anxiety and then I feel bad about being in body consciousness.
Whenever we are nervous in a situation such as the one you are mentioning, it is usually because we are thinking too much of ourselves. We are attached to what others are thinking of us and to the outcome of whatever we might be doing. Instead, we should try to step aside and let God flow through us. However, this does not mean that we shouldn’t strive to do our best at all times.
It is wonderful that you are willing to lead meditations but do try hard in the future to quit thinking about yourself and instead, pray deeply to be a channel for God and Gurus to flow through you. Get yourself out of the way! Remember that the channel is always blessed by what flows through it. You will begin to feel that and it is truly inspiring!
Pray for the people participating in the meditation that they may be touched and blessed by God’s grace. At the end of the meditation, no matter what has happened, give it all back into God’s hands. What’s done is done!
You soon will become more and more at ease with what you are doing by doing it often, getting used to it, and learning from your mistakes. Eventually everything will feel very natural to you.
In the meantime, always be very grateful that you have the opportunity to serve in this way. As Yogananda said, “This is God serving God—that is the nature of His play.” It is so blissful to be a channel for Divine Light to come into this world. Non-attachment is always a major key for making that happen
Never give in to guilt about anything, such as being too much in body consciousness. If you find you are letting yourself get into that state of mind, quickly pray for help and then resolve to change things for better next time. Use any energy that you might spend in feeling guilty to change whatever needs changing. Guilt is a huge waste of time! Again, just do your best, and then give it all to God.