How Can I Find the Right Partner?

Question

Everytime when I like a guy he ends up liking my friend. This has happened my whole life, and I’m turning 30 this year. It really hurts. I tried not liking anyone but I don’t wanna die alone. I’ve only dated one guy, and he cheated on me with a friend, but we were not close friends. Am I cursed or is there something wrong with me. Please help: what can I do?

—Snoh, S. A

Answer

Dear Snoh,

There is a Divine Plan for us all. Whenever we feel that the perfect plan is not unfolding for us, take heart: God knows what is next for us. He will only give what is best for our growth. It is never too late. Ask, “What does the Divine want of me?”

Here are some ideas that you can do now: Redirect your energy and attention to positive activities and attitudes. Reflect calmly on the virtuous and divine qualities of friends or ex-boyfriends that have hurt you, forgiving those hurts. Say a silent prayer of gratitude for all the experiences that have come to you. See God or Divine Mother smiling at you and giving you comfort.

Also, the book How to Love and Be Loved, from  The Wisdom of Yogananda series, is a valuable resource, with many suggestions on how to choose the right life partner. Remember that love is about giving, not taking. You don’t want to make a hurried or wrong choice!

Most of all, put your energy into your meditations. In the language of your heart, ask God to bless and guide you to the right thing that you should do and at the right time. Hold your prayer up to the spiritual eye after your meditation and offer into His hands this attachment to having a partner. Ask for clarity for the highest good, for God’s will to unfold, and to understand what He wants for you.

Lastly, the best way to choose the right companion is to affirm deeply: “Heavenly Father, bless me that I choose my life companion according to Thy law of perfect soul union.” If you practice this affirmation for six months with deep faith, you may find that person you are looking for — and with God’s blessings. This affirmation will help you establish a real attunement with God’s will.

Many blessings on your efforts,
Nayaswami Hassi