I have completely surrendered myself completely to God’s will .I am in a state where I am unable to feel anything, extreme pleassure or pain. The only momments where I find joy and peace is when I connect to God. I am completely blank about my future goals as I am devoid on my will. Everything is running on routine. I have relied on my intution heavily. My intution is driving me to marry but I am unable to find a good reason to marry. Pls guide.
—Manish, India
Dear Manish,
The lives of the saints and masters are filled with the zeal of devotion, service and wisdom: in varying degrees as to whether bhakti, karma, or gyana, according to their own dharma. But in all cases, they have fire and energy. You indicate that intuitively you know you will marry but you seem to have no enthusiasm or sense of rightness about that. Marriage is a separate topic, from a spiritual point of view and I don’t see the need to address that at this time. What I would prefer to offer to you is the importance of energy: whether for success in the material life or spiritual life. Energy is the basis of creation and it takes tremendous energy to achieve moksha (liberation). One doesn’t slide into “heaven” with ease but must “storm” the heavens with what Yogananda described as “prayer-demands.”
Don’t accept marriage passively, like a goat being led to sacrifice! Either you seek marriage or not; even better, is to pray with intensity whether marriage is the will of Divine Mother as an aid to your liberation, or not.
I urge you to pull yourself out of what sounds like what could be spiritual lethargy even if for now it feels good. Don’t mistake indifference for non-attachment. Non-attachment comes from vigorous will and the response of grace to the energy of self-control.
Long ago I was in a mood and wondered aloud whether not wanting anything in life was enough to find God. A spiritual friend politely reminded me that suicides find nothing in life worth living for but they certainly do not find God as a result!
Work on devotion; work on serving God through others, through your job, your family, your neighborhood, your Sangha. Use pranayam in your meditation to develop the inner fire to raise prana from the lower chakras to the Kutastha, the spiritual eye.
Pray “I will reason, I will will, I will act, but guide Thou, O Father, my reason, will and activity to the right action in all that I do.” And if you are unsure of divine guidance, act with common sense, your best judgement and act dharmically, but ACT for action will clarify your intuition and guidance. A few steps in any direction, performed sensitively and with a clear conscience, will act as a channel for additional inspiration. “I am strong; I am complete in my Self.”
Blessings, dear friend,
Nayaswami Hriman
