I Am Deeply Missing My Partner. What Can I Do?


My partner is travelling to the US for work and will be staying there for a significant amount of time. I will be missing him a lot during this time, as I have before, and I’ve found it quite hard to cope with. What can I do, in terms of spiritual practice, to relieve myself from this feeling?

—Chris, UK


Dear Chris,

Yours is no doubt an understandable trouble, humanly speaking. Fortunately, the divine perspective gives solace and direction.

Yogananda offers a meaningful and important prayer: “Dear Father, whatever conditions confront me, I know that they represent the next step in unfoldment. I will welcome all tests because I know that within me is the intelligence to understand and the power to overcome.”

If we can’t change a circumstance, it’s always a loving (and often tough) gift of the universe to us. Yes, a gift, even though it hardly appears as such.

The best thing in this situation is to determindedly say “Yes” to life, “Yes” to this circumstance, “Yes” to the opportunity it gives you to grow.

If we say, “No”, “That’s not fair, not right”,it’s humanly understandable, but only depletes our energy.

So try to find out: “What am I supposed to learn in this situation? What is the quality I need to develoop, which will overcome my suffering?”

The yogic training is to learn to gradually become inwardly independent, complete in ourselves, never being too dependent on any outer circumstance. You may affirm daily, “I am happy within myself, I am in peace within.”

If you meditate, focusing on your inner world, and not on the lack of your partner, inner harmony and completeness will slowly increase. With that increasing fullness, your need and lack will naturally disappear. And if you believe in God, your deepening relationship with Him/Her in the inner silence will by and by fill the sense of lack in a marvellous way.

Then, when he comes back, a new and grown person will greet him. Your love will be bigger, less attached, more divine. When he is gone in the US, inwardly pray for him, sending him light and love: that will keep you connected. On a subtle level there is no separation.

It’s all good. Everything happens for our best. You are about to learn an important lesson. This is a golden opportunity for you.

All the best,