I am in love with a girl. I feel I love her unconditionally. I am happy to have her in my life. However she is still deciding whether she can pursue a relationship with me or not. We both are spiritual. My heart keeps telling me inside that she’s the one due to all the positivity she and stability she has brought in my life. We share the same values and ambitions. What do I do. Please help. I really intend to seek her presence in my life for the Long term.
—Akshay, India
Dear Akshay,
I know this answer might sound tough when one is in love. But take this time of uncertainty to affirm your independence from that girl, your independent happiness. Realise that your happiness will never come from any person, not even from that girl. Joy is within, it comes only from your Self-realization, from your union with God.
Of course it is desirable to have a partner who matches us. But we should never think, “Only with that person can I be happy.” This is the nonsense that comes to our heart and mind when we are in love, as you are right now. See it as a complete delusion.
The best preparation for any good relationship is for both sides to work on being completely happy by themselves, alone. Otherwise there will always be dependency, expectation, giving the other the responsibility of ones happiness.
God finally separates all beloved ones from us, Yogananda teaches, in order to teach us to be in love with Love itself, and to be in love with the Source of love, which is God. He is the one Love behind all human loves.
If in the end that girl decides to be with you, great. But let God always be first in your heart. If however she doesn’t, fine. Your ONE partner still is with you and loves you.
If what I write resonates with you, work on your hearts’ independence this way (an affirmation by Yogananda):
Close your eyes, concentrate upon the heart throb and repeat with devotion and feeling:
“Thou art love, Thou art love
I am Thine, Thou art mine,
I am Thine, Thou art mine;
I am love, I am love,
love is healthy, love is perfect;
I am healthy, I am love,
I am whole, I am perfect.”
May you find the one Love of all loves,
Jayadev
