I’m 40yr old man.owing to certain struggles in my life earlier i haven’t yet married.also being an introverted personality i don’t much feel the emotional need,although there is physical urge and a sence of shirking duty bestowed upon me by my near n dear ones' constant pressure.im a kriyaban for long but honestly not good at it and i absolutely have no clarity of even what i wish for.Feels like I’m stuck somewhere in middle and can’t make the distinction to be a spiritual person or a social one
—Anurag, India
Dear Anurag,
“Spiritual” and “social” are not really a contradiction. Your question is, as far as I understand: “What side should I emphasise right now in my life?”
First of all, I wouldn’t care about the constant pressure of your relatives. Your life is yours!
The physical urge, however, is something you need to deal with. Can it be controlled healthily, or not? If not it becomes a suppression and will keep haunting you. According to the answer you behave.
If you don’t feel an emotional need for a relationship, being an introverted person (in a natural, not excessive or tensed way) , I’d say, why not stay single and work on your inner life?
If that single life on the other hand becomes heavy, or burdensome, or unnatural, or joyless, or if the sexual urge is simply too strong, then ask God for a good partner, spiritual if possible.
Otherwise, stay happily single and put your energy in understanding and experiencing Kriya better. Sometimes there can be one specific teacher who explains it in a way to make a “click” for you. “That’s how it works! Great!” So you might do well to listen to various kriyacharyas of Ananda. Kriya is divine. It is waiting for you to discover it. Your whole inner world is divine, waiting for you.
God bless you in your decisions and directions,
Jayadev
