When I was young, I experienced my soul coming out after an ancient Indian monk called my name. He taught me meditation skills after which, I started to practice. When I was around the age of 30, I suddenly saw a small golden pill rising up from my bottom to my forehead . The golden pill suddenly became a large golden light. I was shocked and quickly stopped. The light transformed back into a small pill and hid inside my stomach. After this incident, I don’t dare to practice. May I know if I should continue ?
—Bobby Ong, Singapore
From your description I would say you have nothing to fear. But to go deep into the Self, to experience the inner light (jyoti), you might begin to pray that you find a true guru. The inner world is far more vast than our outer world; tradition and experience tell us that we need a guide.
Inasmuch as you have written to us, at Ananda, and inasmuch as we are disciples of Paramhansa Yogananda, I am compelled to suggest you pray to Paramhansa Yogananda to be with you and guide you in your meditations.
To handle the inner astral perceptions, it is also important that your body and mind be purified: from a “sattwic” (pure) diet to purity of heart, selfless actions in service, and devotion to the “Supreme Lord” (Ishvara Pranidhana). Those who go too quickly into the inner world will find their perceptions discombobulating.
Have you ever attempted to ascertain the identity of the ancient Indian monk? Clearly you have had a guru in a past life and he may in fact be guiding you to Ananda and Yogananda. Do you have a meditation routine? The three steps of relaxation, concentration, and expansion are excellent for taking us step by step towards perfect inner stillness: the foundation for the appearance of the astral perceptions which can begin to guide and deepen us.
In the teachings of Yogananda, there is no more prominent and important gift than that of Kriya Yoga. You can learn this by a course of study and practice, including preliminary techniques, even online at a distance.
In the meantime, continue your meditations. I think over time you will become accustomed to the inner light and be able to meditate upon it deeply. But the techniques Yogananda offers will make this process more natural and more reassuring. “Make haste slowly!”
With blessings and divine friendship,
Seattle WA USA