Loss of Husband


I just lost my husband,not able to cope for all the love,care and support he gave.married 4 years and suddenly one day he was brutally murdered.He was man of good social stature,would solve the problems of people who came to him.loved family,his work and me so much.I don’t have any children.why did he go like this?He did good to everyone then why did he get this in return.Is it my karma that affected him?I miss him in simplest of thing we did together.What do I do?

—Purnima, India


Dear Purnima,

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. From your letter, I gather that you are relatively young, so this loss makes your loss doubly tragic. You have lost the years that you had hoped to share together here on earth.

Send his soul your loving thoughts and prayers. His love and goodness still live on. Through angelic guides, his soul now understands at least some of the bigger picture of karma as to why this happened. He would not want you to suffer; please don’t worry if your own karma caused this to happen. It is more helpful to think that in some past life lost in time so many incarnations ago, he put some karma in motion that resulted in his loss of life in this way. Likewise, you have your own individual karma that has now given you this experience.

Karma can lie dormant for many incarnations, waiting for the “perfect” set of circumstances. So — how could such a good man as your husband receive such difficult karma? A very simplistic way of looking at it is that perhaps in a distant past life, the soul of your husband was involved in some act in which an innocent man died. So, his own soul had to evolve to that same degree of goodness and innocence before he received the boomerang of that karma.

Knowing this only comforts your mind a little bit. But what about your broken heart? That is what really needs healing. And for that, you need to focus on your husband’s goodness in this life. That is a soul quality that does not die. Through that same goodness, your husband would now want to heal your broken heart. The same way that he helped others he would now want to help you. The death of a beloved spouse is a very difficult journey. Even though we can’t rush our healing, he would want you to be comforted now even in the midst of your loss. But grief is a heavy emotion, so we often can’t feel the loving vibrations coming to us from a higher plane. The soul of your husband and the healing angels are trying to help you now in your grief. But it can be hard to feel that when we are broken-hearted. But the one thing we do have control over is our fulfilled intention to send love to our dear ones who have passed on. Send loving thoughts and prayers to the soul of your husband. This will be a comfort both to you, and to his soul. You will meet again. Love cannot die.

Paramhansa Yogananda wrote in Karma and Reincarnation:

“Send your thoughts of love and goodwill to your loved ones as often as you feel inclined to do so, but at least once a year — perhaps on some special anniversary. Mentally tell them, “We will meet again sometime and continue to develop our divine love and friendship with one another.” If you send them your loving thoughts continuously now, someday you will surely meet them again. You will know that this life is not the end, but merely one link in the eternal chain of your relationship with your loved ones.

It can also be a comfort to you to serve others in some small way. Think of your husband as you do this. Follow his example. Sharing kindness with those in need has a way of healing our own hearts.

Be kind to yourself, as well. Healing from such a shock can take time. I encourage you to request healing prayers every month as long as is needed.

Please keep in touch.


Mary Kretzmann

Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry