My Father Has Been Abusing My Mother. How to Help?


My father has been abusing my mother for last 40yrs. She has developed anxiety attacks, is on anti depressants that induce sleep mostly. She has been yelled at in front of neighbors & relatives with every day one on one poking which she ignores. She built the home she is living in and everything inside it. It feels tough to ask her to leave that place and live somewhere else as my father wont go. Not sure why she is bereft of the basic respect when she does everything for the family. How to help

—Anonymous, India


Dear Friend,

What a sad plight for your mother! Surely life has its lessons, and they are often hard ones. If the question comes down to leaving her home or continuing in an abusive household, it seems the best course of action is to leave the home. A house is a material object, but one’s peace of mind and safety are far more valuable.

I trust that your mother will be properly cared for by you or others were she to leave her husband. There doesn’t sound like there’s any likelihood of your father changing his ways. For her health, safety, and peace of mind, therefore, it is perhaps best that she leave the situation. Is that what you’re thinking?

Nayaswami Hriman