My son has all the good qualities a person should have- kind, wise, compassionate, loving and spiritual. He is gay and came out to me recently. There are no gay Gods that I am aware of, and I believe its all in the person’s minds and thoughts may be because of my or his Karma. Is it possible to pray for him that he become heterosexual so that he can grow more spiritually and his sex and third eye chakra will be opened. I want God to bless him and want him to lead a normal, natural life.
—Sanchita, Nepal
Dear Sanchita,
Attitudes toward sexuality have been rapidly changing throughout the world — more quickly in the West than in the East. It’s important that you be true to your own feelings on the matter of your son’s sexuality. But I am writing from America where these issues are less and less controversial.
Apart however from cultural or personal views and feelings on the matter of homosexuality, God, the saints, you, I, and your son’s soul have neither sexual orientation nor gender, only identity as bliss.
You pointed out that your son possesses “all the good qualities a person should have.” Isn’t this most important? Love your son for his soul; for the wonderful qualities that he is blessed to possess.
Let’s imagine that your son leaves home and lives far away; you rarely get to see him; or, if he were attracted to women and marries a woman you do not approve of. Wouldn’t your biggest concern be that he is happy and well? You could put aside your disappointment in other choices he might make, couldn’t you? Isn’t it the same in this case? Your sincere desire for him is for his well-being, his happiness, and his goodness.
Focus therefore on his positive traits and your own best wishes for his happiness and spiritual growth. His being gay will have its own social challenges for him, and you wouldn’t want him to suffer more for it if it is not necessary for his spiritual growth.
So think about his goodness and your desire for his happiness. Sexuality is far less important, provided a person keeps those impulses from becoming addictive and hurtful (to oneself or others). After all, he could be sexually oriented toward women and yet be promiscuous and lust-addicted. To suppress his same-sex impulses could dampen his innate goodness into something you would not want for him.
You love your son; love his goodness and his soul. Let him deal with whatever challenges may come to him in this lifetime. Okay?
Blessings to you both,
Nayaswami Hriman
