Is It OK to Stop Talking with My Parents?


Is it a sin to reject our families, out of spiritual necessity? In Asia, we overvalue family; yet my businessman dad has become so arrogant/blustering that I just cannot be around him anymore, and my mom is unpredictable. Sometimes I just want nothing to do with them, like they weren’t my family in the first place. As a grown man, I feel like moving on from their influence, treating them like acquaintances instead. I feel spiritually incompatible w/them. Is that wrong?

—Rush, USA


Dear Rush,

If it’s possible for you to live in a separate place, away from your family, you might consider doing so. It seems that living with your family now is not working for you. There is no sin in doing so, but at the same time, you don’t need to reject your family.

Daily spiritual practice and meditation will help you calm down and see things clearly and in perspective.

Your relatives are given to you, by God. It is better not to reject them. You can distance yourself from them for awhile, so you can get strong and calm in yourself. Once you get strong in yourself, it will be easier for you to accept them, and gradually to love them. After all, you have magnetized this family to yourself.

When you learn not to react to their behavior and remain calm in yourself, you have overcome your tests in relationship to them. It is said that when you are able to love your parents unconditionally, you become Christ like.

Honor your longing to deepen your spiritual life now, so it will help you, gradually, to accept your family.

Nayaswami Diksha