I lost my husband suddenly. He literally dropped dead without any history of illness of any kind. He was only 58 years old. Why did this happen to me? While he has gone away peacefully, I’m lonely and in pain and miss him at every step of my life. Why did this happen to me? What is the purpose of my life now? For whom should I live? Is it my karma which caused his death?
—Vijayalakshmi, India
Dear Vijayalashmi,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is difficult to understand what appears to be a senseless loss of a loved one. Losing a husband in this surprising manner is particularly difficult. The “why” behind the tragedy is almost impossible to comprehend for those with such a loss in their lives.
Right now try to have faith and belief in the divine purpose of all things that come to us, even the tragic ones. Have faith in the goodness of life and belief in the Divine Hand behind all things. This is what is needed for you to have the strength to accept what has happened.
Suffering, always, will help us turn inward to God to ask “why” and to find comfort during any grief. The best choice is to seek answers directly with an inner connection to God. Ask God, in the language of your heart, for His help and blessings with this deep sadness. Open up to God and all He is trying to give, whether, in your mind it seems to be a blessing or not.
Remember, circumstances and our karma are both neutral factors. They appear to us as good or bad, happy or sad. Through all this, do try to stay positive and uplifted. Feelings of loneliness, sadness, and loss of purpose are normal but will not help you heal from this grief in your life. After meditation, again, in self-offering of the heart, ask God for His help and to know His will and purpose for you. At the same time find ways in your life, right now, to help others who have had a similar loss in their life. Helping others will bring more understanding to you.
Try to send your husband thoughts of love and peace now. Instead of weeping and sadness, send him your love. By doing this, you can actually help the progress of his soul and receive his love in return. This is will heal the pain and sorrow for you also.
When the soul leaves the body, it goes to the astral world, or heaven, the subtle sphere of God’s creation, a universe of light and energy. This is greater freedom in another and spiritual realm for your husband. If you can rejoice in that for and with him, you also will gradually begin to feel the same freedom and blessings he is trying to send you. This acceptance will open the door, as well, for your next step.
God has a perfect plan in all of this for you. Nothing is lost in time or eternity, for we are all ever in God. God never forgets us, and in that lies our comfort.
Many blessings during this time of your grief. May God bless you.
Nayaswami Hassi
