We are married for 2 years and are in our early 30's. We have been getting thoughts to have a child but we both fear it for all reasons: being able to provide the kid financial and emotional support, making him an independent strong person. I had gone through depression in the past and get easily bogged down by negative days, thoughts. Also, I tend to take a lot of guilt on myself when I do mistakes. Due to this I consider better not to have a child. Yet I am unable to be rock firm on it. Please suggest.
—Tanya, India
Thanks for your question, Tanya. Parenthood is a big commitment, and you show spiritual maturity in your recognition of that fact.
In the big questions of life, it is good to seek inner guidance. It has been a great blessing in my life to have children, but I had to pray for clarity early on to feel if that was the best path for me in this lifetime. Finally, my inner guidance came, like a beautiful presence of Divine Mother’s voice in my heart, “In this lifetime, to learn unconditional love, be a mother.”
But that was my guidance. I know, from past life memories, in other lifetimes I have lived as a nun. There are so many ways for us to learn our soul lessons. You want to know what is the best course for you in this lifetime. This article is a good place to start the process of seeking guidance:
We live so many incarnation on the way to perfection. We don’t need to be parents in every lifetime. Perhaps in this lifetime, you long to be free to serve in other ways. If you choose to not have children, it will be important for you and your husband to expand your love by serving in other ways. If you have relatives nearby, perhaps you could help them with their children from time to time.
If you do decide to have children. you may appreciate this very much:
You also mentioned the financial considerations of raising a child. Paramhansa Yogananda gave us teachings on how to manifest “what we need when we need it”. This link contains many resources on that topic:
There are many ways to grow in the lifetime. Parenthood can be a wonderful way to expand our hearts. But there are so many ways to grow…
Take a little time to look through the resources that I have shared with you, above. Please feel free to contact me through Ananda if I can be of further help to you.
Blessings,
Mary Kretzmann
