My husband and I are both devotees of Sri Paramahansa Yogananda. Ours was a love marriage. We have been married for 14 years and have 2 kids, a 9- yr old son and a 6-month old daughter. I recently came to know of my husband’s affair with a girl who is 13 years younger than him. He has been cheating on me for years and they now have plans to marry and have children. He comes home at night and behaves normally in the little time that he spends with us. What should I do to get my husband back to us?
—Anonymous, India
This type of situation can be difficult and challenging. I am sorry to hear of your trials. Try to realize ‘what does God want of you.’ It is a blessing that you and your husband are devotees of Paramhansa Yogananda. That may help you find the solution.
Master says, “If you love your husband, try to forgive his faults, even that of unfaithfulness, and give him sufficient time to recover from his inner weakness by the balm of your continuous love. If you want the Heavenly Father to show you the way to marital harmony, make up your mind to be kind in thought, word and deed to your mate, even if in the end, you both decide to separate.”
I would first encourage you to begin saying the Peace and Harmony prayer. Say it as many times a day as you need courage to sustain your positive state of mind. Hold everyone involved in light as you say this prayer.
This prayer can help you understand and even forgive the present circumstance. Try not to be part of the reactive process. Also, it will help you accept whatever happens.
In The Wisdom of Yogananda: Spiritual Relationships you will find that Yogananda has many suggestions that may be of interest to you. One suggestion is the following beautiful affirmation. After meditation, remain for a long time with that peace and repeat “Father, we came together. Teach us to live together in love, or, if it is Thy will teach us to part in love and mutual understanding.” Even invite your husband to say this with you, if he is willing. If he is not interested, continue on your own.
On the other hand, this karma in your marriage may be finished and it is now beyond your control. You have done your best and you can give the lila (divine play, or drama) to God. It is His play. You will be protected with this sincere self-offering of your heart. Offer the outcome upward to the spiritual eye when meditating, that it is God’s will for you and your family. If it is necessary for you to separate, see it as a perfectly planned blessing and that God has your highest good in mind.
‘Rest in God and live in God.’ These are the words of a beautiful chant that may bring you inner peace. May you be surrounded in God’s light and love.
Many Blessings,
Nayaswami Hassi
