I've read that when we have an experience of being deeply hurt by someone or some situation, we tend to subconsciously carry that hurt onto other situations, and the hurt keeps replaying. Is there some way to heal the hurt before it manifests in future situations? And how do we become more aware of the mechanism of hurt inside of ourselves, so that we can be free? Are some people more vulnerable to being hurt than others? How to reduce this vulnerability? What did Yogananda say about hurt?
—P, India
Dear P,
When hurts are held subconsciously we are not necessarily consciously aware of them. But the soul’s power, energized by meditation, introspection, mindfulness, prayer, and devotion, will draw into the body and mind the purifying power of divine grace (prana) to release these hidden seeds of hurt. If you are conscious of a deep hurt from someone, that is a good beginning for healing, and if you are not aware of the past hurt, it may take longer to heal.
One way to become aware of a hidden hurt is to be mindful enough (born of daily meditation) to notice when your words, actions, or emotions are far out of proportion to the situation that triggered the exaggerated response, and to notice this when it repeats itself under similar trigger situations. But of course, you need to be mindful and self-aware.
The meditation technique of “watching the breath” is a great aid to teaching the mind how to observe oneself even during activities. At Ananda, we practice this with the mantra Hong Sau.
Devotion, too, offered during the day in activity and at night in prayer and meditation, can sweep away such seeds of past karma as well. Devotion that takes the form of mindfulness, silently practicing japa during wakeful activities, is very powerful. Subconscious urges and hurts are swept up and dissolved in the rising current of devotion and prana towards the point between the eyebrows.
Some people are “more vulnerable to being hurt than others,” for sure. Those who have been hurt in the past are sometimes more sensitive to being hurt again. Others respond by becoming stronger, however, and less susceptible to hurts. Reduction of vulnerability can only be found by living more in the true Self, at one’s center, where nothing and no one can harm you. The more our mind and heart are focused on God, the guru, and the soul, the less we identify with the fragile ego, with its endless need for reassurance from outside itself.
Here’s one of my favorite affirmations from Swami Kriyananda’s book Affirmations for Self-Healing. “I am strong in my Self; I am complete in my Self; all that I seek awaits discovery within my inner Being.”
We all have many past hurts and errors. The key is to cauterize our ego-involvement. Then, when karma comes back to us, we are not touched by it; we accept what we cannot change with equanimity and faith. How others treat us is their problem, not ours. How others treat us is a gift from God to help make us strong in our love and faith in God’s goodness.
Be strong in your soul-Self and find the joy that is your true nature and that is untouched by life’s ups and downs!
Nayaswami Hriman
