I am doing level 2 or deepening meditation level.
My kundalini was forcefully evoked by another group of saints that I used to follow earlier.
Now when I practice meditation I sometimes feel like crying. I pray to God that everything in my life should happen with God’s will and not mine. Is the negative effect of my previous guru carrying over. What should I do when the thought of my previous guru comes during meditation or otherwise?
I am so sorry you are experiencing this sadness while meditating. It could be related to the forced awakening of the kundalini that you had on a previous spiritual path, but we don’t know for certain. The spiritual path given to us by Paramhansa Yogananda gives the devotee a gradual awakening of divine joy along with a sense of expanding spiritual awareness. Progress typically feel gentle and natural, without big disturbance in the kundalini. As the devotee grows in spiritual stature, the devotee may be experiencing more of the kundalini energy but it feels natural because their inner system has been prepared for it. It doesn’t feel like a disturbance — but like energy and inner joy.
This article may help you to develop a stronger devotional link with the Paramhansa Yogananda and thus naturally allow the memories of the negative experiences with your previous guru fade into the background.
We can also pray for you and the divine healing grace can help you to transcend this difficult time. Here is our link to request healing prayers.