Healing After a Devastating Loss


My wife passed at 33 years age in a train accident 2 month ago.in 8 years of our married life she left me with my 7 years daughter. Will she forgive me for any mistake of mine that ever I hert her intensionaly or unintentionally.?is this accident took her away from me & my daughter due to any negative karma of mine.? That she has to face this accident. How do I connect to her for confess something or realize her absence?

—vihar, india


Dear Vihar,

First, I want to express my deepest condolences to you for the devastating loss of your wife and your daughter’s mother. Paramhansa Yogananda said that God never gives us a test that is greater than we can handle, but when we are in the midst of such a big loss, we can feel overwhelmed with sadness. This leads us to wish we could do it all over, but with even more love.

Please know that your wife forgives you for anything and everything. The soul, once freed from the body, can see things from a more expanded view. Also, in the astral world, when souls are ready, they often have a spiritual guide to help them review their life with greater understanding.

Karma is complex. All we can really see is that which is right before us. We all have so much karma from so many lives. Your wife had the karma to die young, and you and your daughter had this karma to lose her much too soon. But mass karma is also a factor in this, since she died in a train accident, which I assume took other lives, as well. Swami Kriyananda taught that if we are caught in a mass karma situation, it may not mean that we had the strong karma to die that day, but perhaps we needed stronger good karma to counter that mass karma, so that we could survive it. This can happen in small way, such as maybe some people never got on that train, eve though they had a ticket, or maybe they went to another car right in time, etc.

Please know that I am not saying these things to deepen your anguish in any way. Rather, I am trying to help you get past the personal aspect of blaming yourself, or your own karma, for causing her demise. Karma is so vast.

You can send your love now to the soul of your wife, even now. Paramhansa Yogananda wrote:

To send your thoughts to loved ones who have passed on, sit quietly in your room and meditate upon God. When you feel His peace within you, concentrate deeply at the Christ center, the center of will at the point between the two eyebrows, and broadcast your love to those dear ones who are gone. Visualize at the Spiritual Eye the person you wish to contact. Send to that soul your vibrations of love, and of strength and courage. If you do this continuously, and if you don’t lose the intensity of your interest in that loved one, that soul will definitely receive your vibrations. Such thoughts give your loved ones a sense of well-being, a sense of being loved. They have not forgotten you any more than you have forgotten them.

And this:

Send your thoughts of love and goodwill to your loved ones as often as you feel inclined to do so, but at least once a year — perhaps on some special anniversary. Mentally tell them, “We will meet again sometime and continue to develop our divine love and friendship with one another.” If you send them your loving thoughts continuously now, someday you will surely meet them again. You will know that this life is not the end, but merely one link in the eternal chain of your relationship with your loved ones.

This book can also be of great help to you now. It is available in India: Karma and Reincarnation, by Paramhansa Yogananda.

God bless you.

Mary Kretzmann
Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry