Coping with grief


I have not been able to practice yoga or meditation either as recently i lost my brother.I have faced situations like divorce but after my brother's death i am shattered emotionally.I dont know wat to do n how to become th same enthusiastic person, full of life n care for my loved ones.Now i hav to take care of my parents as i am their only hope but dont hw will b able to do tat.i am avid reader of "Autobiography of a Yogi" right from class X in school, which provided my great strength.pls help.

—Jas, India


Dear Jas,

I am very sorry to hear of the death of your brother, and of the devastating effect it has had on you. Grief is a very personal thing, Each human being responds differently, and no one can say what another should do.

A friend of mine lost her husband when he was fairly young. Swami Kriyananda gave her very good advice, but it may take some time before you are able to practice it. He said: Try not to focus on your regrets, but instead on your gratitude to God for the wonderful bond you were able to have with him.

When we feel deep grief, it’s difficult to imagine that it will ever go away. If you are unable to meditate and do yoga, at least talk to God regularly. Offer Him your pain, and the love you have for your brother. Ask Him to help heal you. Not that you ever will forget your brother, but that you may live in a loving way, and with joy in life, as you know your brother wishes you to.

Also send your prayers of love to your brother’s soul — i believe he can receive these from you. Over time, you will probably come to a place of acceptance and peace. Later, your enthusiasm will be able to come back.

It may help you to read again in the Autobiography of a Yogi the story of Master losing his mother. He also was devastated by grief, but eventually that loss helped him to love God all the more. Through his deeper love for God as the Divine Mother, he was able to find peace about his mother’s death.

You can send your name and situation to Ananda’s Healing Prayer ministry, and 9 people will pray for you for a month.

In divine friendship,