Dealing with Anger


despite i know anger is harmfull but it comes with such huge force that i fail to overcome,pl suggest way to solve problem

—rakesh, india


Dear Rakesh,

Thank you for your question. Anger can be such a strong force. One extremely helpful technique for controlling anger is regular meditation. When you’re feeling angry, you may or may not find meditation to be helpful. But if you meditate regularly (e.g. several times a week), you may find yourself no longer getting angry! The reasons for this are spiritual, as well as physiological.

When overcoming anger, it can be helpful to trace your anger to a specific cause. Having said that, here are a few general suggestions Swami Kriyananda gives in Do it Well! (now Living Wisely, Living Well):

+ Counting to ten is an accepted technique for dissipating anger. I suggests going a step further: Visualize with each number, as you count it, a progressive expansion of consciousness. In thus incrementally broadening your perspective, your anger will be dissipated and will change, first, to acceptance, and then to empathy.

+ If you see anything that displeases you in others, or in the world, ask yourself, “Does it really matter? In this world of relativity, how many wrongs there are! The best thing I can do is simply give up being displeased!” What displeases us in others is usually something we have to overcome only in ourselves. What displeases us in the world, too, is something we can overcome in ourselves. Learn to accept life as it is. I don’t say, Never try to improve things, or others. Improve them if you can, calmly and supportively. Still, realize that there are too many wrongs in the world for anyone really to improve them very much. Your own chief need, always, is to remain inwardly unaffected.

You are in our thoughts and prayers, Rakesh.