I have been practising meditation since 2010. But for the past 1.5 years I have troubles in doing meditation due to personal problems. My mind is strongly working against my will to meditate. Is there anyway to overcome this? Or as Yoganandaji has pointed out, is my Karma preventing me from doing meditation. If so, how can I work out this ? or is this my self-justification for not doing meditation ?
It sometimes seems that as soon as we get serious about our meditation practice (as you have done in continuing your practice since 2010), that is when the world, our karma, and maya conspire to create obstacles to our practice. To commit yourself to having meditation as a regular part of your life means that, no matter what, you will meditate each day. The trick is to figure out how to make this possible when things get difficult.
I would suggest that you simply promise yourself, and commit to this promise, that you will meditate each day at a certain time and for a certain amount of time. Make the length of time something that you can actually do right now, and then do it! Practice whatever meditation techniques you have and don’t dwell on the results you are receiving during meditation. Instead, pray to God and your guru and let them know you are there to spend time with them through your meditation practices. This brings devotion into your practice and should gradually make it easier to sit to meditate.
Don’t think too much about what you “should” be able to do in meditation, but just “show up” and do it. Sometimes the energies blocking your ability to meditate can’t be understood by the rational mind, but can be gradually changed by simply doing your meditation practices the best way you are able to at the time.
This way, your energy will gradually change over time and be drawn into a flow that is more compatible once again with meditating. Then you will find that you can meditate again and in a better way. In fact, going through an experience like this will make you and your practice even stronger.
In divine friendship,