How Can I Forgive Abuse?


i have faced lot of abuse from my father and deep inside emotionally i am not able to forget it,it keeps coming back as i keep thinking about to forget,forgive and go ahead/how to turn the emotional upheavel.

—rajesh, india


Dear Rajesh,

You have taken the first step towards forgiveness, which is your desire to forgive and move on, and this is a great start. It is in your best interest to forgive, so your heart can open and expand, instead of being contracted by negative emotions.

Here are a few suggestions that you might consider:

  • Create and nurture loving relationships with other people, where you can give and receive love.
  • Use Yogananda’s Peace and Harmony Prayer. Many people have benefited from it. This prayer is very helpful when you are having difficulty with another person:

Visualize the person in the Divine Light and pray from your heart “Lord, fill him/her with peace and harmony, peace and harmony.” Repeat this over and over for about a minute. Then visualize yourself in a divine light and say: “Lord, fill me with peace and harmony,” for 15 seconds.

Do this five times a day. Three or four times might work, Yogananda said, but five times practically never fails. Start to practice this prayer, until you feel a positive change in your heart towards your father. It might take months. Be patient and consistent.

  • If possible, find a photo of your father as a baby. Look at that photo and try to love him, through that photo. Any act of abuse happens because of ignorance, suffering, and lack of love. The more you can see his suffering, the more it can help you forgive him.
  • Read Yogananda’s book: Karma and Reincarnation. This book will help you to understand the law of karma and how you can mitigate it. You can find this book in India here.

Blessings on your journey,
Nayswami Diksha