I have experienced the first stage of Samadhi prior to understanding spiritual matters, yet I feel compelled on living an "ordinary" life. In some sense, I feel that overcoming the materialistic world through materialistic means is my path. It's all very confusing, and I feel like I really am stuck in "Hell." Most it has to do with how I feel that the spiritual path truly is the ultimate. Is there a right time to seriously devote ourselves to the spiritual path, might it differ for others?
—Asho, United States
Thank you for your question. Much can be said about living in the world but not of it, so to speak.
The path you have chosen is very difficult. Yogananda said often, “environment is stronger than will power”.
I’ve seen many people try to bridge both worlds, only to find they have been pulled away from their sincere desire to find God. The materialistic world is very strong.
If you are really wanting a spiritual life, you must surround yourself with people and activites that constantly remind you of the path, of your goals in life.
It seems from your question that your goals are really to seek God and in fact, that you have had some contact in this way already.
Why, then, strongly dabble with the material world? What hold could it possibly have?
The joy and bliss of God is so much more.
If you can take some time from what you are doing and come to Ananda, to the Expanding Light (Ananda’s retreat facility) for a short time even, you will find many answers to your question.
It will help you see how to proceed with your life. Do come.
Joy to you,