I feel strong tendency in my mind and very very strong in my heart to go into situations which cause a lot of pain. I am aware of that I do things which will cause more suffering but I cannot resist it. I feel like I want more and more pain. And on the one hand I do things which cause it, and on the other I feel guilty and am sorry for myself.
I’m torn between these two forces. I ralely find a moment of peace lately. Should I sink into this tendency? Give up to this not reasonable tendency?
I am sorry you are suffering like this. We each have to make the choice in our lives, every day, to lift our energy toward our higher potential. Laziness or the downward pull can try to catch us in many ways.
You are feeling it particularly strong right now, but you are also reaching up to the Light, and to your higher nature, that you have taken the time to write and ask this question. So, no, please don’t give up and give in to the downward pull. Try to resist it each day with some kind of positive energy. This will help you will get stronger, and you will begin to feel inner peace. Take positive steps like going for a walk, or doing even more vigorous exercise, if you are able to do so. And please visit this page and do this affirmation every day for a month. It will help life your energy. This affirmation has the power to change you life, by reversing that downward pull into a healthy, upward direction. In the beginning, please do the affirmation along with me in the video so you can give it proper vigor and vitality. Do it this way for many days, and gradually you can do it on your own. The most important thing is to do it with energy, and with your focus uplifted to the point between the eyebrows, the seat of divine will in the body. The affirmation will help you to awaken that spiritual will power, and it will help you in all areas of your life.
God bless you,