Hello, I have a question on overcming jealousy. After a long time I have entered into a nice relationship in my life. Unfortunately I see myself being overcome by powerful waves of jealousy. If my partner pays more attention to my freinds over me I get very jealous. I tried doing kriya pranayama and meditation etc. I am praying daily to god to help me overcome this. This is causing serious stress and I feel helpless because I know I am jealous but can help myself feeling this way. Kindly help me.

—ashvenkat, india


Dear Ashvenkat,

Jealousy is a very painful emotion. Swami Kriyananda says that “The secret of overcoming jealous is to realize that no human being ever owns another; each stands alone before eternity. That man or woman most truly loves who is inwardly free, and who grants perfect freedom to all. Everyone must grow at his own pace, to find his rightful position in the great scheme of things.”

In this quotation he uses the phrase “stands alone before eternity.” It’s helpful to expand our vision. Our pains come from being too closely involved in things. Step back from yourself a bit. You are one soul who loves another in a huge cosmos. Keep opening your mind to the vastness of God and the universe. Tune in to the vastness of love.

Love is not tied to one person, but is an innate quality within you. Make a point to practice expressing expansive love to all people that you meet. Realize that the love you feel is your very own. It is a joy to share it in a new relationship, but the love is within you and can never be taken from you.

Sometimes we can put so much focus on our faults that they seem enormous. Perhaps when you pray to God, ask for a deeper ability to love everyone (instead of focusing on jealousy). Affirm as you go to bed and as you awake that your heart is filled with the love of God.

Bless you!

In divine friendship,