Married or single: which is more advantageous, spiritually ?


hello, i hope you are well and everything is good in your life.

i've asked a question here about meditation and the third eye but i've found out that prayer is really the only type of meditation that works for me.

so onto the question....i feel that all the time, there's a girl that god put both of us on this earth to help each other spiritually. i know abstinence is the way to go and i'll stick to that. but please explain the world of dating to me and how yogananda put it.

god bless you

—Jonathan, united states


Dear Jonathan,

It seems like you are saying that you would like to be in a relationship with a woman, and you would like that relationship to be one that is spiritually and mutually helpful.

Yogananda taught that one can advance spiritually no matter what his station in life (married or single). There are advantages and disadvantages, spiritually speaking, to each state.

In fact, Swami Kriyananda recently wrote a book called A Renunciate Order for the New Age. It hasn’t been printed yet but you can read it at this website: In this book he lists the advantages and disadvantages of each state (single or married).

Ideally, the more you focus on your spiritual path (meditation and devotion), on serving at work, at home, and in your local community area, the greater will be your own spiritual magnetism that will attract to you the girl you feel is to be your spiritual helper. But, admittedly, most people who want a relationship tend to be impatient or anxious and resort to “looking around” either literally, or going places, or even using dating services. Trouble is, the more we want something, the less magnetic and appealing we are to others. Ironic, but true.

So do what you feel you must do in order to be balanced but understand that the more you give your life wholly to God as your own, nearest and dearest, Beloved, the more God will see to it your appropriate needs in life will be taken care of.

Use your common sense and if you meet someone and get serious, see if there’s someone whose wisdom you respect who can give you input about whether it is a good match.

Marriage will not, by itself, bring you lasting happiness. The unbroken joy which our souls seek can found in God alone. Once married, you can check that one off your list of desires and needs, but, for many, it can just mean the beginning of your troubles! Finding a partner who is spiritually compatible and wise can be a great, if rare, blessing. So be patient, be careful, and most of all be in tune with God and God’s will and love for you.