Sending Love to a Spouse After Death


I would like to know what is correct to do in order to help a soul. Can we light a candle in our home? Talk to the soul, explain it should get detached from this plane...?

I would like to send my love to my deceased husband (we had a car accident), and do what I can. His birthday is coming soon. I feel so much his presence again. I´m afraid with my emotions to be binding him to earth. I thought of celebrating his birthday by getting our kids playing. He was a cellist. But is this correct to do? Grateful.

—Mafalda, Portugal


“Keep broadcasting love thoughts to your dear ones of this world and to those who have gone ahead of you in robes of light.” ~ Paramhansa Yogananda

Dear Mafalda,

My heart goes out to you and your children; please receive my deepest condolences for your profound loss

Your emotions are very natural. Of course you are sad. You have lost your beloved, and the father of your children. I speak from experience for my own husband died of cancer in August of 2012. (My 3 children are grown – the youngest is 20; your children sound younger than that, school age, perhaps.)

Pray for him. Send love to him. These things will help him greatly.

It would be lovely to have the children play cello on his birthday in loving memory of him – if they already play cello. If they do not know how to play, then this might not be the time to start, for it could be very stressful for you.

You could also play some of his favortie cello recordings that day. Place a beautiful framed photo of him in a place of honor in the home. On special days, such as birthdays, Christmas and your anniversary, you can light a candle and place a small vase of flowers near the picture. Ask the children to make a picture or a note expressing their love to Dad. But mostly guide them in how to send their loving thoughts to him, if they are open to that.. Keep his memory alive, for his ideals can guide the chidren, even now.

The children will be greatly comforted, and guided, if they pray for their father every night at bed time. You could pray together as a family so they feel your support in that. You can also ask his help, along with the angels, to watch over you and the children. This can happen, when there is lasting love.

As time goes on, by sending him love, the sadness can gradually be tranformed to pure love for his soul. You know that he loves you and the children. Reciprocate that love, sending it from your heart to his soul.

You say you are feeling his presence “again” – I believe he is wanting to comfort you as his birthday approaches. He knows you miss him, and there is a sweetness in that. He is still part of your family. Enjoy his loving presence, but tell him that you also want him to explore the realms of Light where he now dwells. It is not an “either/or” situation. He can do both…

You have intuition, and you feel his presence. You could keep a journal of your feelings, or even a prayer journal in which you write to him, heart to heart, soul to soul. Keep it in a sacred place. Let your heart guide you, as time goes on.

You are a mother, so you have many responsibilites. I don’t want any of my suggestions to overwhelm you! Do whatever of these are a comfort to you, and also help you to comfort and guide your children.

Please do feel free to ask for prayers for yourself, or your family, at this link:

I hope this helps. May you be comforted.

God bless you and your family,
Mary Kretzmann
Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry

PS. This quote from Paramhansa Yogananda was very helpful to me recently:

“I am the prince of perpetual peace, playing in a drama of sad and happy dreams on the stage of experience…” Paramhansa Yogananda