Should I become a mother?



a question that has been bothering me for quite a while is whether it is my duty as a married (and healthy) woman to have children?

Thank you and kind regards.

—Sabine, Europe


Dear Sabine,

In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna explains that each person has a unique dharma (duty) to fulfill. What is a right and admirable duty for one person, is not necessarily appropriate for another person. Each of us needs to tune in to what feels right for us, as opposed to what others tell us they are doing, or what seems generally to be a good idea for most people.

Having children is a source of joy for many people and brings many people great fulfillment. These are the people who should have children. The criterion for knowing if you should have children is if you feel this will be something you and your husband can do with joy.

It is very helpful in a marriage for a couple to share some form of selfless service together. Raising children together is one such form of service. There are many other ways of uniting your energy through serving others – you might create music together to share with others; you might take on a service project in your town to help others less fortunate.

It might be fun for you and your husband to exercise your imaginations and think what form of service to others would be inspiring to both of you. Again, don’t being bound by what others do, but what inspires the two of you.

In divine friendship,