I am a devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba. I am a bit fickle minded and leave everything at half done. I lost my job dependent upon my wife earnings and take care of kids @home while she works. Question is: Why God is not protecting me by melting my Bad Karma. I have a relationship with a married lady in the past. But now I use to remind her now & then but no meetings. This is the only bad thing I have done in my life. Will this be a obstacle in my spiritual life if I think abt her now & then growing my bad karma?
—Ram Tej, Pune
I think you have an interesting view of God and how the spiritual life works from the first question you ask: Why is God not protecting me by melting my Bad Karma? My question to you is, “Why should He?” God would not do such a thing as to “melt your bad karma.” Your karma, created by your own actions (both in this life and in other lives) is there for you to deal with and to learn from. Why would God take this golden opportunity away from you! By dealing with your karma you will grow spiritually, and you will really not grow in any other way. You have created this karma, and must develop your will power and devotion to overcome it.
If you want to grow spiritually and to actively become a devotee of God, then you must take seriously the need to stop creating more bad karma. The situation you describe of losing your job and being dependent on your wife defines at least some of what you need to do to remedy it. You should find a job and be more supportive and loving of your wife and children. Use devotion and self-control to banish any continuing thoughts about the relationship with a married woman. It is not so bad to have had this kind of relationship happen, but to continue to “entertain” thoughts about it will only create more bad karma for you have to overcome.
May you feel the blessings of God and Shirdi Sai Baba supporting you in your efforts.