I recently started my spiritual journey and connection with myself. I am trying to look into myself, see what I feel, forgive myself, taking care of myself, stand and speak for myself , doing meditation etc. Suddenly I am feeling lonely and alone in this journey. I feel like I am looking for some greator love and acceptance which humans cannot give. I am on the right path but I feel like I am starting alone on a hill or mountain. What changes I can make to make my journey fulfilled?
—Mounica, India
Dear Mounica,
You are experiencing something completely normal on the spiritual path, especially at the beginning. When we turn away from worldly self-definitions and goals, we are among a very small number or percentage of people on this planet. I think it is actually important that you have this experience or realization at this time. Partly it is the knowing that you have made a choice and that only you can take the steps up that mountain. While no one can do it for you, it is also true that a time will come when you look back over your path and realize you were not the do-er at all. But that will come later. The first step, you must take. Paramhansa Yogananda gave this formula: the spiritual path, he said, is 25% our effort; 25% the effort of the guru on our behalf; and 50% God’s grace. The 25% of our effort is still 100% of our effort. It’s just that the goal is accomplished with the larger contribution of divine grace (God and guru).
However, the good news is that we are not alone, at all. For starters, we are not the ego at all. We are the immortal, imperishable, eternal and ever-blissfull soul. But to know this rather than just think it, we must go within and enter the Temple of Silence; the space of inner communion; self-offering; etc. Strip away that which is not the Soul-Self so that the Soul-Self may appear shining.
It is far easier to include God (in form, no form, name, no name, quality or aspect (love, peace, etc), guru, deity as your heart guides you) in your inner journey. This is more than just in meditation. Throughout the day, turn the running narrative inside your head to a dialogue with God, your best friend. God — as life’s vitality, consciousness, capacity for perception and feeling — is the Source and background Presence out of which the ego-self exists and functions. By turning within with your thoughts, emotions, and in silent prayer and meditation, you will meet the Creator who dwells in you and who is your own true Self. He/She/It is your best friend; your dearest beloved; Father-Mother.
I recommend the book of prayers and poems, Whispers from Eternity by Paramhansa Yogananda. Open randomly or otherwise, just open this treasure and it will speak to you as your companion. You are not alone but you first have to find the true you and you will discover the Self of All.
Enjoy the adventure in Self-awakening. It is the greatest story ever told!
Nayaswami Hriman
