Changing Unwanted Thoughts and Attachment


I am in pre-final year of my engineering. I am in love with a guy and we are on a break as we both want to concentrate on our career. We communicate much less. I am finding this difficult and am not able to concentrate on my studies. I am overwhelmed by my attachment to him. I want to concentrate on my career right now and be free from this delusion.

—Manisha Kumari, India


Thank you for your heartfelt question.

This attraction, that you describe is not necessarily a delusion. A relationship based on true principles of soul expansion can be a very dharmic thing. If this connection is a benefit to your spiritual progress as well as the other person’s progress, it will lead to the Divine Love we all seek. Passage of time and being apart are good tests of endurance for that kind of unity and love that is lasting.

My suggestion for unwanted thoughts is to simply say ‘no’ to the temptation of thinking about the relationship. Don’t try to reason your way out of the temptation. Your conscious mind may be persuaded to not think of this person and will think of your career goal but the subconscious mind will usually not listen to reason. It is harder to stop those runaway thoughts coming from the subconscious.

Of course, you want this person to be a right companion for you, too. This affirmation may help you. Especially when your thoughts begin to distract you and keep you from your studies. Use the energy of those thoughts, instead, by saying this affirmation thus avoiding a myriad of mistakes!

“Heavenly Father, bless me that I choose my life companion according to Thy law of perfect soul union.”

Practice this affirmation with deep faith and in essence, it will give your mind an alternative to focus on and set your direction for a truly dharmic relationship. Use this affirmation in the morning when you wake and before sleep and as often as the unwanted thoughts come.

Also, after your meditation, in deep self-offering, give your life to God and ask for His blessings and guidance and listen in your heart for His Infinite love and help.

Many blessings on your efforts.