Why do my friends think that I don’t understand them when I’m solving a problem between my friend and his girlfrien. I tell the girlfriend to not to tell anything that I told her to anyone else but she does that and then my best friend betrays me. Can anyone please me how to solve this?

—sarthak, india


Dear Sarthak,

We learn so much from these interactions. First not to get between couples. Sometimes friends just want to express their thoughts and are not really interested in advice. It’s best then to just let them talk. Be a friend in understanding, commenting only on bringing the discussion to a higher level of consciousness.

Second, it’s best not say anything about the person under discussion. I’ve learned that my thoughts relate to my own understanding of life, but this understanding may not be helpful to another. Advice should be helpful and positive. Sometimes saying nothing but conveying love and understanding will do more.

If you feel the action of betrayal of your friend is true, then change yourself. This may be a wake-up call from God to learn how to be a friend. If the betrayal is not your fault, then the action should not concern you. In any event do not become angry towards him. Anger brings only more confusion and more betrayals. Keep your mind clear and open to love and compassion towards these souls who are struggling with their lives.

You can develop compassion and love through meditation on God, bringing Him into your life, listening to Him. You can also help others through this more enlightened consciousness.

Blessings, Seva