My friend and I have known each other for over 10 years but it wasn’t until we moved in together that we have been fighting constantly. I care about her very much, but have wanted to move on for a long time because I always felt the relationship was toxic. She doesn’t want the friendship to end, as she says I’m her only friend. Recently, I moved in with her because I was in a desperate situation, and I thought we would get along. How can we keep the peace for a year?
—Natalie, USA
Dear Natalie,
I would suggest a spiritual solution. Here are 2 very effective spiritual tools.
Peace and Harmony Prayer: Yogananda brought the Peace and Harmony prayer which is a powerful prayer to use whenever there is disharmony. It is simple and you can do it 5 times per day for best results.
Repeat for 1 minute (about 12 repetitions) Divine Mother fill ____(your roommate’s name) with peace and harmony, peace and harmony.
Then repeat for 15 seconds (3 repetitions) Divine Mother fill me with peace and harmony, peace and harmony. Here is a video of how to do this: Peace and Harmony prayer. Try doing this prayer for several weeks. Many, many people have offered testimony to the power of this simple technique.
Meditation: When two people both do spiritual work such as meditation there is often less friction on the material plane, because both understand that peace and calmness are found within and not in a ‘perfect’ outer environment. Everyone in their true nature is a child of God, but crusts of attachment and delusion have attached to the ego and obscure that truth. The ego expects to have everything “its way,” and of course that is impossible and not in the best interest of the person’s spiritual growth. We are here on earth and given the challenges that we face because we have rough edges of ego that need to be worn off so that we can realize our soul nature. Often these challenges become more apparent in personal settings such as home life where ego expectations can be amplified. We are usually more accepting of differences when we only have limited contact.
If you are not already meditating it would be really helpful to take up this daily practice. The more you are anchored in inner calmness the less your roommate’s behaviors will upset you. Do you think your roommate would be interested in learning as well? If you both meditate the benefits to your relationship will be even more powerful. You might even meditate together at times and establish a harmonious relationship at the level where it is established best, at the soul level. When anchored in the love found in soul to soul connection daily interactions even with people of very different temperament can become harmonious. Harmony is found in the divine presence which you both seek.
Great benefit will accrue to you whether it is only you who practices meditation or you both do. At Ananda we offer a simple meditation practice that Yogananda brought to the West from India. You might like to learn it if you do not already have a practice. There is a short version of the technique in our Learn to Meditate Mini-Course or for in-depth training in meditation I encourage you to look at Online Ananda Course in Meditation which is 10 weeks and really transformative for your life.
Many blessings as you conquer this challenge. The benefits of your efforts should be long lasting.
Nayaswami Mukti
