Healing the Bruises of an Intimate Relationship


An older man in my meditation group who has been meditating for decades began giving me lots of attention. He began calling me, writing me spiritual love notes, etc.. I enjoyed this friendship because I felt supported in my meditation efforts and nurtured in friendship. We had a couple of nurturing moments on the more intimate side. Then he wrote, "feelings change but we’d always be friends in God." I feel used and energetically dry. My meditation has not been the same since.

—Fran, USA


Dear Fran,

I am sorry that your intimate relationship with this man didn’t last long, and that you are now going through a rough time.

In a meditation group, it is quite normal for hearts to open and people to feel attracted to each other. You freely opened the door of your heart and allowed him in, so why do you see yourself as having been used? He might have been confused himself, and only after the two of you became intimate was the energy strong enough that he realized that he was looking for something different, so he withdrew—perhaps out of consideration for your feelings. In any case, at least he had the integrity to end it quickly. There is no one here to blame; simply learn from it and move on.

If you are yearning for a loving relationship with a spiritual man, pray deeply to God and ask for it. Keep your meditation practice strong, your priorities clear, and ask God to help you heal.