The more I move along my path, the more lost I feel in some ways. I struggle to set intentions. I have several talents and could help in a variety of ways, but at the moment none feel particularly inspired compared to this burning, rapidly expanding desire to want to more deeply engage and emanate divine inner peace and love. Yet, Yogananda and Swami Kriyananda both speak of having to take action, to meet the life force half-way. How does one navigate these seemingly contradictory directions?
—David Lederman, Romania and USA
You are expressing a common inner struggle: how to balance the inner meditative life (the “desire to want to more deeply engage and emanate divine inner peace and love”) with service (to “help in a variety of ways”).
We all have individual dharma (correct thing to do) and also varying phases in our lives. So if for now the outward service does not inspire you much, but you have a burning desire for the inner experience of peace and love, I would say, go for it. Nourish it, live it, deepen it, emphasize it in your life. It is a divine and blessed soul-desire.
Your service can just be what you yourself write: to emanate what you receive. As you act in life — work, walk, and talk — try to silently and secretly emanate your soul blessings of peace and love to others. That is a wonderful service. And if the Divine Mind should have another kind of service in store for you, you will feel it, in time, from within.
All the best,