Hello! I met my Guru one year ago and have followed her teachings after that. My guru has very very many disciples which (can’t stop it) makes me also very sad because it feels like it’s hopeless to develop a relationship with her (even if I know it’s an internal relationship) But I long so much for also a bodily relationship with a guru/teacher or anyone! I feel like I don’t have anyone in my life that I really trust. I now live in Sweden and my Guru lives in India. It feels like I have met my Guru but I am still longing for meeting a Guru (is this the ego playing games with me? Or is she not the One?) Love from Sweden.
Your longing for a personal relationship with your guru is completely understandable. Is this desire from the ego or from the soul?
I’m not sure it matters: after all until one is fully enlightened, it must also be from the ego. But never mind for now.
The question must really be: “What can I do about this?”
1. In prayer and meditation, let your desire be quiet while you seek to purify and deepen your love for God. For God is the guru! No one and nothing else!!!
2. When you finish your meditation, then ask God to send to you a guru that you might know God and be freed in your soul and in the heart of God.
3. After praying thusly, let God do the work. He/she will know what you need and when to fulfill that need. Perhaps your desire is, for now, too personal and God wants you to wait until you are more deeply calm and calling with greater non-attachment.
4. Never forget the principle of karma which rules the universe of maya: that which is ours by right of our self-effort must come to us. God, using our karma, knows what we seek and what we need. The purer our desire (devotion), the stronger our pull on Divine Mother’s heart!
5. In the meantime, if you feel inspiration and blessings from the Indian woman teacher, continue to read, listen, and/or visit her, despite the crowds of other disciples. Draw her inspiration calmly into your heart and mind.
6. My teacher, Swami Kriyananda, would sometimes repeat the advice: “Patience is the quickest road to God.” This can mean that we must learn that “the kingdom of heaven is within you! Not lo here, lo there!” The human guru comes only to awaken the divine guru within you. Patience means calm, non-attachment and faith in the goodness, mercy, and wisdom of God, using our own karma.
Therefore, I say to you that your desire for a guru is a good thing but try to internalize it so that you seek Divine Mother’s presence, love, and wisdom. And, when She feels you are ready, she will incarnate herself (so to speak) in human form to guide you. But ultimately, it is always an “inside” job!
May your heart’s desire be fulfilled in the all-transforming love of God!
Seattle WA USA