After a collective spiritual event with intense devotional chanting, I had the perception of my small self vs. my big self. My small self understood that it has so many emotions and preferences and I do myself a disservice by thinking they’re real and acting on them. I perceived that my big self’s perfection is unimpacted by anything that my small self does or does not do. I still act from my small self and believe I am my personality and its preferences. Please advise me how to move forward.
To be able to see the difference between these two aspects of ourselves is a great blessing. Ask yourself, which one makes me happy in my heart? And, which allows me to do the greatest good?
Life has a way of revealing to us what we need to do to move forward. It is not always easy to make the change from material consciousness to expanded awareness.
Environment, actions, the company we keep….all these potentially reinforce our view of the egoic self. You might find it helpful to deliberately surround yourself with those things that support an expanded view of yourself, life and the world. Try it for a day, a week, a couple of weeks, a month. The choice is yours. Specifically, you might try giving emphasis to those things which lift your consciousness beyond the body, matter, and form, for example, exercises that relax the body and direct the energy upwards, i.e. yoga postures, Tai Chi and the like. Perhaps a day of fasting could be helpful in this regard, or meditating on “space.”
You might consider the following affirmation on immortality, or make one of your own:
“I am a child of eternity! I am ageless. I am deathless. I am the changeless Spirit at the heart of all mutation!” (from Affirmations for Self-Healing by Swami Kriyananda)
Joy to You,