I used to easily be able to hear the voice of my soul before my boyfriend and I moved into a tiny apartment together. Now I rarely hear it, despite regular meditation. I long to commune with myself deeply again. I feel that my energy field is strongly impacted by sharing space in this relationship with my boyfriend. Please advise me of any ideas for keeping the connection to myself alive.
It is good to hear that you are a regular meditator. Be sure to keep that up, no matter what happens.
A statement by Paramhansa Yogananda, which is often quoted is: “Environment is stronger than will power!” The second part of that quotation is often left out: “…until your will power is strong enough to overcome your environment.” Increase your will power by practicing Yogananda’s Energization Exercises every day without fail.
One of the most impactful aspects of our environment is the people we spend the most time with—in this case, it would be your boyfriend. So you are right! Your energy field is, no doubt, very strongly impacted by the space you share with him.
However, here are some possible solutions for your dilemma:
Sincerely and deeply pray to find ways to nourish your meditations and thus your intuition.
Realize that the voice of your soul will never desert you. It will always be with you, for it is you as part of your Superconscious Self. Meditation helps you hear that inner voice better—but even if it fades away for a time, it will come back, if you remain open for that to happen.
Perhaps consider going back to having separate living quarters from your boyfriend. Or if that is not possible or you don’t want that, move with him to a larger or at least a different place which would allow you to have a private meditation space (even a large closet might work). If that is not possible, then find a place outside of where you live, which will allow you to meditate alone or with a group of sincere meditators as often as possible.
Even in your tiny apartment, try to create a tiny “temple of silence” for yourself. Screen off a small portion of a room for your permanent meditation space. Wear hearing protectors (headphones) and soft comfortable earplugs to block off as much sound as possible. Sit on silk and/or wool cloth. Cover yourself, including your head, with a blanket or shawl to insulate your personal energy space. Create a beautiful and magnetic altar with photos of your Guru(s) or anything which inspires you to go inward. If you have photos, look into the eyes of the Great Ones and ask for their help in this and all matters. It will come!
Ask for your boyfriend’s loving cooperation. If he will not consider meditating with you, then ask him to at least not hinder you in your resolve to meditate daily. Perhaps he could even send you prayers or loving vibrations or thoughts while you are meditating. Explain how very much meditation means to you and reassure him that it will not diminish your love for him—only make it stronger!
Find times to meditate when he is asleep. That might help make a better vibrational space all around you for you to go deeper in your meditations without his vibrational interference.
Make your whole life a meditation. Inwardly chant as much as possible. Keep your attention at the spiritual eye as often as you can remember to do so. Have little mini-meditation times all day long when you can at work, in transit, or whenever possible. Even a few seconds can help. See everything you do and everyone you meet as a part of God and the way God is coming to you at this moment. Feel the energy and power of God flowing through every action, thought, and activity.
Continue to seek superconscious solutions to your difficulties. Ask for them to come into your mind! Pray for them to appear to your inner vision and through your intuition. Resolve never to give up on your inner quest. It is the most important thing you can ever do.