Hello! 8 years ago I started to talk to a guy online and I fell in love with him but due to his constant problems we could never met in person. This year, on New Year’s Eve I asked God to take me to this guy and let us be (never mentioned his name in my prayers) and one week later I found out that he was not who pretended to be and more than that, I managed to find the real guy in the pictures and contacted him. Is this the Universe trying to tell me that this is really meant to be?
—Rainbowdrop, Romania
Dear Friend,
I am sorry to hear of your love troubles! Online dating is risky in what you describe. But having found the “real guy” doesn’t really change that. You would have to enter into an online relationship with this “real” man and start all over again!
Yet, I know of many successful marriages that began with online dating. It is the way of this modern age and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it if you use common sense with intuition.
Even before online dating, a man or woman might learn the truth of the person they are engaged to (or married to) after the fact! So the risks aren’t substantially different.
Traditionally arranged marriages also had their problems, too.
So, if you feel to begin a dialogue with this other, “real,” man, please do so cautiously. The time will have to come when you do meet.
I’ve never done online dating but isn’t there a way to establish a person’s credentials and truthfulness? Since the risk is on both sides, can’t you, at a certain point, perhaps before arranging to meet in person, ask each other to provide some third party “proofs” or information about who and what you each are?
If you offer to do so, then perhaps he will agree. Listings of your names in respect to educational institutions, career roles, family members, service to local organizations or church…..things like that?
If your online relationship turns more serious, is there a family member or trusted friend you can share with before you step out and meet this man?
So, use common sense; ask for divine guidance; involve a trusted friend; all of these, and you should be safe. But your experience also serves as a WARNING that online dating may not be for you. So if you proceed, do so as I suggest above!
Ok?
Blessings and light,
Nayaswami Hriman
