I was having a good meditation practice 11 years ago and having a lot of feelings for God. I was to sacrifice material world to serve mankind. Suddenly one day while reading an article on God and his presence in all substance excited me a lot. It was then that I started having trauma from negative feelings and depression for the next 5 years. Was that like 'sometimes' all karma of devotees get burned together & they face all troubles of life in a short span of time in getting sudden spiritual progress?
—Govind Takwani, India
You are right about the tests that you are having, being karma suddenly ‘coming due’. Sometimes, it can be called a ‘karmic bomb’. Also, on the other hand, the devotion, dedication and commitment that you describe is giving you protection and guidance. Keep reaching to the highest possible. Even though the ‘trauma’, as you pointed out, was/is negative and lasting.
Try not to be discouraged by anything that comes to you. Remain positive. Try to rekindle those feelings for God. He is still there, just the same for you! This testing that you are experiencing on the path, can and does happen to the sincere truth seeker.
Continue to meditate, it is your lifeline, and after you meditate, sit and in the language of your heart, pray to God for His blessings and help. Be sure to hold gratitude for the blessing of the spiritual path that is yours. Remember to keep God in heart and close to you in everyday activities, give Him your joys, successes, failures, sorrows, repeat His name throughout the day. Read spiritual books, say affirmations, chant inwardly and listen to inspiring talks and music. For all these inspirations go to our website. Also, many other inspirations are available to you there. www.ananda.org
Many Blessings on your efforts.