Tragic Loss of a Child


Respected Sir/Madam, I lost my son (aged 28 yrs) a month back, due to a sudden haemorrhage attack while he was taking a shower and getting ready to go to office. He cried out in pain for about 20 secs before we could break open and found him lifeless. He was a very healthy young man and had no prior med issues. 1. Why did this happen in a matter of seconds? 2. What is the message that Bhagwan wants to convey through this to me and family? 3. How should I pray for my son’s well being? — Thank you

—Nalini, India


Dear Nalini,

I am deeply sorry to read of your loss. It is often said that no parent should outlive their child, but, sadly, this is one of life’s tragic facts. In the realm of Spirit and karma, only a true guru can pierce the veil of causation to see the fine thread that links all lives and events.

What is the meaning of this for you and for him? Life in this world, the masters remind us, is for our soul’s education. And what is life’s most difficult lesson in this great school? Non-attachment to the dream of birth, life, and death! A difficult lesson and one that we experience lifetime after lifetime. Divine Mother is offering you the opportunity to have faith in Her, in Her lessons, in Her love and in the life you have been given. No one can deny the grief, the loss, for this too is part of what we are given. Can we experience grief and yet have faith in the divine goodness of all things? That’s the test. To say, “This is hard but I have faith that you know what is best for me, my family and my son. Console me in my grief but help me always to know I am thine and “Thy will is my will.”

But there’s another part to this: your relationship with your son who still lives, and lives on as do each of us through many phases of existence and consciousness. Your son was torn from his body and family and life with but seconds to have any clue. He must, too, be at a loss; confused; and saddened.

Being young and unprepared he now needs help in regaining his own confidence, clarity and faith. Your thoughts and prayers sending him strength, energy, hope, comfort and calmness are extremely valuable because deprived of the physical human form so suddenly he is probably unaccustomed to functioning in the subtle, astral body. All great spiritual traditions and masters encourage us to pray for those who have gone before us.

However, it is just as important that your prayers be offered when you are calm and not focused on your own loss and grief, however understandable and necessary this is for your own transition back into daily life. But by offering such prayers in the light of faith and the living presence of Divine Mother especially after meditation, this will also help your own process. Do you see?

In your memory, your thoughts, your love….your son lives on and can never die. If your connection through love is strong, you WILL meet again, either “above” or in another lifetime. Besides, what is the lesson of human loss? Very simple: God alone is deathless; God’s love, alone, is the only unconditional, unchanging and eternal love. Loss has for its message the sometimes hard but necessary counsel to seek love and fulfillment in God alone. Divine Mother, Krishna, Shiva, or the guru exist as emissaries for that alone which is real.

For now, however, focus on Divine Mother and ask for Her assistance to allow you to send love and comfort to your son as he re-establishes a new life on the astral plane before returning to human life. Odds are good that he will return soon since his life here was so short. So keep an eye out for newborns but if you think you have found him, then your lesson will be one of non-attachment all over again. So be careful.

Divine Mother has taken your form; your son’s; everyone’s and everything. We are to realize that truth: “All is Ram!” Be comforted, mother, for your son is ever in the light of God.

Nayaswami Hriman