How to Attract True Friends


I often feel alone. I agree that even in such moments, thoughts about God rescue me from many a dark moments & negativity .However, despite my best efforts I have not one genuinely good friend. It might be that I am fearful, afraid of being snubbed or betrayed. Neither is my faith so resolute that I can remember God at all times which is so difficult. I often think that deeper and more meaningful issues about academics must engage my energies. But without human associations, things seem uphill.

—Ashu, India


Dear Ashu,

God is our dearest and closest friend, yet God exists in all people and in all things. We cannot achieve God’s love if we reject God’s presence in the people around us and in the life we lead.

But friends are not collectibles like stamps. Friends are those who come into your life and with whom you feel a special resonance or a calm familiarity. We cannot manufacture this feeling by chasing it or merely hoping for it. Make the friendship with God first and then see that Divine friend in everyone you meet. This is the way to magnetize a true friend.

And, if for a time, no one comes into your life in this way, then God wants you to befriend Him/Her first and, for a while perhaps, alone.

It is true that we often avoid friendships from fear of being rejected or betrayed. But when we are calmly open and make the effort to see the one and only true Friend in the outer forms of others, then we can lose that fear. Love God in others not for what they give you in return but as an act of devotion to God within them. They may reject or betray you but if so it is Divine Mother testing you and refining your love to be unconditional, no matter what happens!

This is not easy, I admit. But deepen your devotion and express friendliness and appreciation to those who are in your life; serve their needs without thought of recognition or return; in time and in this way of pure service, true friends will be attracted like bees to flowers!

Blessings to you,
Nayaswami Hriman