I am deeply hurt emotionally by my wife and life circumstance. I have family problems and fights with my wife and mother-in-law. I am 31 years. In the past 20 years I have been separated from my parents, as I was in the hostel life for 10 years in India and then the next 10 years I am in Australia, working and married. I want to go to India, but my mother-in-law and wife want to stay in OZ as it is better earning.

—Sabarish, Australia


Dear Sabarish,

My heart goes out to you being separated from your family like that. Over the last two centuries, many like yourself have traveled far away from home to have a better life: earning more than at home and sending money back to the family. It is not an easy life, certainly.

Do you think the family problems and fights with wife and mother-in-law would be better if you were there? I suspect not. Maybe you are, for now, better off not being stuck in a home with unhappy people.

Why not take advantage of your situation to find time to meditate, study, associate with others of sattwic disposition, calm temperament, and devotional inclinations and habits.

Make it a point to avoid arguments with your wife and mother-in-law. Speak respectfully and calmly, not rashly or with emotion. You can listen and then say, “Let me think about it.”

It takes two to argue and if you decide not to the play that game, it will take the “fun” of it out for them, and maybe they will calm down. Only say “yes” if you feel it is the right thing. Sometimes what is “right” is that which will bring harmony. Other times, what is “right” requires courage to stand up against what isn’t right! Not easy, I know, but you are being given an opportunity to be strong in yourself with the true Self of Atman guiding you.

All difficulties are our opportunities to grow, learn about ourselves, and offer ourselves into the Light of dharma, truth, and goodness. Life tests us to see what we are made of and this is your test to be kind, noble, and yet strong in truth.

Blessings and joy to you!
Nayaswami Hriman
Seattle WA USA